All the SINGLE ladies...

Top things that single women DESPISE about other single women:

1. SINGLE WOMEN BLOGGERS/WRITERS.
Do you really think that you have authority on this? Especially when you yourself are VERY single? You pride yourself in your singleness and even consider yourself a specialist in the field. Call me what you want, but I would rather NOT be a specialist sounding like a desperate woman needing a man and spreading disillusionment onto my single sisters by telling them what is WRONG with them so they can get their "man." Please see this article if you need more clarity: http://www.charlotteobserver.com/2010/03/22/1329913/unwifeable.html

2. HOOCHIE MAMA's.
Yeah, I said it. If you are in your late 20’s or early 30’s and are a single woman, chances are you have taken your turn on the “sin wagon” and done yourself a little “mattress dancing.” But that is NOT what we want to see in other single ladies. Why? Because men come to expect that behavior from us based on you giving it up so easy. So why don’t you try playing a little hard to get? Invest in a handheld device and maintain some self-respect. I think it’s safe to say 99.9% of one night stands turn into regret… so go home alone. You will thank yourself in the morning.

3. DRAMA QUEENS
We all know them. We may have even been one at some point. Shut up. We don’t want to hear about it. Chances are if there is drama within the first 2 weeks of dating a guy, he is a tool and you should move on. Be grateful you didn’t waste any more of your time or hot air talking about his issues or defending him for his tool like behavior. Take the vow with Mary J. in 2010… “No more drama…”

4. OPRAH WINFREY WANNABES
Those single ladies who think they have all the answers to the trials and tribulations of dating… yet NEVER take their own advice. They send you articles from offenders like mentioned in #1 on this list thinking they know everything about everything. These single ladies, also have an art to circling their advice on dating life to others, back to themselves… this in turn typically results in dominating the entire conversation, which ironically ends up sounding like a sermon preached to themselves. Yeah, we would like for you to shut up too.. thanks.

5. PRAYING MANTIS SINGLES
These singles can be seen at the bars always scanning the crowd for “mr right.” Memo to Miss Praying Mantis, you look desperate. Quit ignoring your friends. Have a good time. Have a few drinks. If he is around, he will find YOU. You don’t have to be the freakin crocodile hunter and master the art of a man’s mannerisms they are not that complicated. They are attracted to fun. If you are fun, they will come. If you are a psycho praying mantis they will run. You can’t hide crazy behind those eyes. And girl, you are giving other nice eligible sane single ladies a bad rep with your ridiculous behavior.

6. TEAM SINGLE LADIES TEXTERS:
These offenders typically have been tricked by their fellow single friend who is interested in a particular man to text or call him to come out and play. You single lady texters are guilty by association. Your friend is acting desperate and rubbing that crap all over you. You aren’t her secretary. She has probably been reading too many articles mentioned in example #1 or #4.

***this is a work in progess.. suggestions/additions accepted :) ****

And Thank You for letting me vent. I feel MUCH better.

Lift up my head...

Psalm 3: 3-5

But you are a sheild around me, O Lord;

you bestow glory on me, and lift up my head.

To the Lord I cry aloud, and he answers me from his holy hill.

I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me.

The sermon at church yesterday was centered around this passage. I know that God wants to use this to humble me through its message. The pastor pointed out that to have the Lord lift our head, we must first humbly bow it before him. It makes you ask yourself have you humbly bowed your head before the Lord lately? Have you bowed your head before him and given him all that burdens your heart so that he can use it in a way that is beautiful and glorifies him?

That is the kind of scripture that brings you to your knees... in the best way possible.

I love honesty...

There are some things that we shouldn't put Limits On...

Putting Limitations on things that were created to be Limitless…

All day I have been pondering love, forgiveness and redemption…

3 words that are the very foundation of what I believe.

3 words the represent Jesus Christ to me. Both in the life he lived and in the life he calls us to live.

As a person who calls myself a “Christian,” I should strive to understand and live out love, forgiveness & redemption in my life. I am aware that there is a continuing struggle of incorporating those words into my life. I am still learning how to recieve them for myself...but I never realized that I may not be the best at giving them to those around me.
And for someone who considers themselves a “lover of all people”… I have been smacked in the face with the conviction that I too put limits on these 3 beautiful words and how I care about others.

I recently met someone that I find to be really genuine, interesting, funny and kind. The catch is that this person has a bit of a spotty past. This person has lived through some things that aren’t considered the normal or desirable…which makes this person different.
The road they have walked and continue to walk is covered in forgiveness and redemption.

And yes, this persons story is beautiful and full of strength and courage... but I find that it feels much safer to keep them at an arms distance and admire their journey safely, than to put myself in a postion to invite them close to me where something real could flourish. Stupid fear.

But we are not called to be scared… or to judge… we are called to love. And in loving, I think that we are asked to love with all of ourselves. Not the shallow love that gives you a false sense of security by keeping people at an arms distance. We are supposed to invite someone into our lives and show them love, forgiveness & the beauty of redemption by allowing them to get close to us. Right?

The thing about Boundaries...

"Moreover, I have boundary issues with men. Or maybe that's not fair to say. To have issues with boundaries, one must have boundaries in the first place, right? But I disappear into the person I love. I am the permeable membrane. If I love you, you can everything. You can have my time, my devotion, my ass, my money, my family, my dog, my dog's money, my dog's time---everything.  If I love you, I will carry for you all your pain. I will assume for you all your debts (in every definition of the word), I will protect you from you own insecurity, I will project upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and a rain check. I will give you all this and more, until I get so exhausted and depleted that the only way I can recover my energy is by becoming infatuated with someone else."   - Taken from Eat, Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

This Much I know is True...

It has been almost a year since I have posted a blog. But I have written. A ton. Just not publicly.

The reason being, I was fearful of putting my voice out there for loved ones and maybe random readers to see how not perfect my life has been. It has been a little on the chaotic side. A bit more surviving than thriving...

But don’t let me mislead you…there has been a good amount of beauty & hope and fun in the process of picking up the pieces and "Surviving 2009." I should get one of those T-Shirts made like the ones that say "I survived Hurricane Hugo." ha. It would definitely be a conversation starter.

And I guess that’s what is inspiring me to go write again…To share my story, my heart, my imperfections, and most of all to share the hope.

Instead of writing pages of what has happened over the past year… I am going to start at today. here. And rather than giving details of all the shenanigans, heart breaks, mistakes, lovers, losers, late nights, laughter, tears, family, sweet moments, road trips, disappointments, packing and unpacking of boxes, insightful conversations, glasses of red wine, friendships that grew, friendships that were lost, friendships that were born again… I am going to meet you right here.

With all that has happened in the past year, I am grateful to say I have grown. I have changed. I have been stretched beyond what I thought capable of myself. I cannot pinpoint a day or time, but one day I woke up and thought, "I am different."

And if there was a feeling to cover the past year… It would be gratefulness.
Because yes, there were moments where I felt so alone in this world… feeling that there would never even be a drop of water to quench my thirst… and that my time in the wilderness would never end. But I am here to tell you it did. And I found myself again. And when I did, I realized I’m not really all that bad…Actually, I am pretty great.

I read a quote in a magazine a few months ago that said, “When a woman becomes her own best friend, life gets a lot easier.” I know it is wisdome from a grocery store check out line, but I have found it to be so very true. And yes, my heart is extremely grateful.

Telluride....My Happy Place

So you know how when you are about to experience something really painful...you hear that old saying "FIND YOUR HAPPY PLACE..."

Well I found it. And I got to hang out there for 4 days.

It's really insane actually. The circumstances couldn't have been less appealing. I was flying cross country to escape a weekend that was supposed to be my wedding day...fresh air and good times with my sweet friend Audrey. And of course some loves with Marley Dog.

I landed in Montorse after staring out the window at the most beautiful and massive mountain range I had ever seen. I realized I was blushing. I was embarrased (at myself) because I was excited for the first time in a REALLY long time. There was a bubble of hope welling up inside me. I started giggling. Maybe this will be a terrifice weekend afterall?

Please Lord, I know it is selfish, but I NEED this...I want to laugh again. Hard. Till there are tears.

As soon as we landed I got a text from my friend Erin in Charlotte saying Audrey was in the hosptial she had been in a pretty bad wreck.

WHAT??!!!! 

You can imagine how disorienting the next hour or so was. 

First and foremost, I was like AUDREY BETTER BE O.K. GOD!!! PLEASE!!! THIS IS MY FAULT!!! I shouldn't have come. I must have brought my bad mo-jo. Please. She HAS to be ok... Please.

Long story short. She survived. 

Audrey totaled her roomates car on her way to get be from the airport in Montrose.

It was snowing, she slid of the road and the car rolled 3 times down a steep embankment. Miraculously, she walked away with a few scratches. The tow truck guy said he only takes bodies out of cars like that and he had never seen people walk away from that bad of an accident. 

God has His great big hands on that little lady. Great things are yet to come....

Point of this story, is that it is kind of ridiculous that under the crazy circumstances of a cancelled wedding and a near death experience, somehow I managed to have one of the most AMAZING weekends of my life.

So what is it that makes Telluride so amazing:

The mountains.

The skies. The prettiest shade of blue. Ever.

The people. Everyone is friends there.

The Gondola.

The Chondola.

The liftees.

The gapers.

Stella Artois. I swear it taste better there :)

Best Sushi Ever.

Hot Tubs.

Snow capped peaks.

The feeling of being so small...

New Best Friends.

Old Best Friend. Becoming an even closer best friend.

Everyone operates on "Telluride Time"

So grateful for a dear friend, more a sister... and a weekend that has given me an itch for adventure.