Totally Rocking My World

... so today didn't start out well... George (my 1.5 lb. puppy that just discovered his bark) didnt sleep much if at all... which meant I didnt sleep much if it all... and if you know me, i require a good 8+ hours of sleep to be a productive, pleasant member of society.... if not, stand clear, because Miss Cranky Pants is on the loose.... and taking no prisoners.

So after one of the busiest days at work i can remember, I jetted home, well as fast as you can "jet" out of center city in rush hour, bummed because i had cancelled my "walk & talk" time with a dear friend so that i could make my home presentable for ladies small group that i was hosting.... so after cleaning my condo of what seemed like 10lbs of dust from my furniture (btw... WHERE does all of it come from????) I met my sweet boyfriend who so lovingly took the little runt (I mean runt with so much LOVE) off of my hands so that I may get some rest tonight...

So why may you ask am i blogging this evening instead of curled up in my cozy bed getting my much needed resty poo..... well...I was inspired... my world was totally rocked tonight...
and NO i do not mean by Brett Michaels... I am speaking of my small group and the amazing ways the Lord is working in each of these beautiful womens lives, including my own.
Wow-O-Wow. Man-O-Man.
I wish everyone i love could be a part of this group of ladies who gather once a week in efforts to learn more about Jesus and who he was.... and let me just say that tonight I realized I am learning a whole lot... and it is just so sweet. :)

As i re-read my last paragraph I am laughing at how I managed to speak about the sweetness of Jesus and make a Brett Michaels Rock of Love reference.... Oh what a mess I am...

As we discussed the book we are studying tonight... I woke up to something new...Jesus experienced every single emotion i have felt, plus some feelings i wouldnt even wish on my worst enemy.
So when you lose your best friend... the love of your life.... a parent/ a family member.... that hurt you may feel....He felt it too. Crazy amazing huh?
He even felt chaos. Ehhh... know what that feels like? I sure do. Lets take a look at how my day started..... a bit chaotic. I am a little ashamed that I never realized this.... FELT this... That he understands every detail of us...He has been there. And he is constantly there for us.
We cannot mistake our numbness to His absence.
He has felt it all... thats why it is so sweet to have a relationship with Him.

It is almost too easy for me to rationalize who Jesus is and what Jesus stands for.... I guess we all have our own personal opinon... For some there is the "band-aid" Jesus... and you can find him in the first aid kit that is hidden behind all the towels in the linen closet, and when we visit him we have to blow all of the dust off the kit, so that he can help heal us and fix our hurts.
But we seem to only seek him when we find ourselves wounded or broken. I think that for the majority of my life that is how I have seen him. Like the really neat snoopy band aid that gave me the warm and fuzzies after a sharp prick ... and after the warm fuzzy wore off... back to the linen closet to aquire more dust... until the next boo-boo.

And for some reason i felt guilty for seeing God this way. As a Mr. Fix-It.... but you see... Jesus hurt too... He hurt so that he could have compassion. And if he decides to use pain in your life to bring you to him... let him. Just dont let pain and confusion distract you and cloud your vision. He is there. And we are so lucky to have that. More than lucky... we are blessed... because we dont deserve the second chances or the abundance of love that is anxiously waiting on us to share with him both the highs and lows...peaks and valleys.... challenges and celebrations....

i mean he can relate... he has been through it... He understands.

See... today didnt turn out that bad afterall :) Now I need to attend to that sleep I am in need of..

Until next time. ;)